5:07 am Rant

omg!!!!!! here is sit another morning the victim of, "the bed is no longer comfortable to my achy pregnant body" syndrome. it's been 5 years since another life and i shared "space" and all the little things are pregnancy were forgotten! in my mind my first 2 pregnancy were perfect; i got big, suffered from the flu, and then had beautiful babies! i mean i even remember labor and delivery. with bree; the nurses gave me a shot of something wonderful, i went to sleep, i woke up and Sleaze was eating McDonalds, i cried, i pushed, and Bree was introduced to the world(labor 9 hrs). with da J; i arrived, we looked at free cable(oh yea!), Sleaze avoided holding my hand, i was in pain, i felt pressure, and da J was introduced to the world(8 hrs). bree was born minor cry, eyes open looked around as in shock. da J was screaming as if angry that he messed the good thing he had going. either way it was an experience i was willing to do again, to me pregnancy nor labor where that big of a deal. now i will admit i did not appreciate my nurse pressing with all her might on my stomach (who knew having a baby fall out of you would leave an area so sensitive), but i understand lingering blood cots are nothing but un-needed trouble. i could even accept the rock-hardness of my breast moments after delivery. that remedy was easy; time to breastfeed! but this pregnancy right here...this one right here...has definitely got me saying no more. now to some, being that this is my 3rd child, that's enough motivation to stop having babies. oh and i agree. i do not want to be a momma that keeps having children she can't afford, only for them to say how shitty their life was when i'm gone. 3 is plenty, plenty money to spend and plenty of love to give.....BUT...... i love being a mom! my children(even though they get on my last 3.5 nerves) bring a joy to my life i used to didn't think i deserved. my children make me feel needed, make me feel purposed, make me know i am a good person despite what my Aunt has to say. honestly my kids gave me a reason to live and that's real talk.

but this last pregnancy has been the hardest one so far! i wanna believe it's due to me being a little older, i was 19 and 23 the other times..and now i sit at the tender age of 28 wondering why my body feels so differently. my feet swell faster, my back ached sooner, and the pelvis feels like it can no longer hold even my weight let alone that of another person. i usually end up sleeping the whole day away, waking only to eat, go to the bathroom and then it's usually back to sleep. but my man and children have really been supportive, allowing me to pass out as needed, and for that i am very thankful! i guess what i am saying is this; i love my children, i'm already in love with this baby, and i love being a mom...but all jokes aside...is it december 4th yet?

RIP Uncle Keith

its sad. i dont have a good picture to put up here for him. but my uncle passed on wednesday. he was 49 yrs old and that shit is shocking to me. what is really upsetting is that i have been trying to get in contact with him for a year. it seems like each time i called he was not home or too busy to talk, and now well never talk again.

my favorite memories of him stem from my 18th year of life. my freshman year at vcu was so fun. he was living off of meadow st, so he was really close to campus. i would go over there and trip with him between classes. he was the only one in my family that i felt i could be myself around. some days i would think he was my father because he was so easy to talk to. and i mean about anything. and now he is gone. i know he is in a better place, free from suffering, free from harm. and that makes me smile.

WOW pt 2

so i was not the only person offended by this ignorant buffon! look at how the residents of the neighborhood responded. and this was the right behavior. we, as Americans, can no longer support people that do not have everyone's best interest at heart. it is a new day, it is not exceptable to be racist now. now is a time for unity and peace. a time to truly move from our past and create a new future. something that our children will be proud of. but we have to expose these dummies for what they are. enjoy!

WOW!!!!!!

i can not believe this video. the first video is the original story about a bakery shop owner that made "drunken negro head cookies" in celebration of President Obama. first of all, why the drunken part? sure we(as a people) are elated that our President looks like us, and that is nothing to be ashamed of. but this crosses a line. this situation here shows that there are people in the this world that do not even realize when they have done something offensive. where were the mccain/palin cookies? i think that people would have been more susceptible to that then this.

but ill ask, what do you think?

why i hate "oprah fucking whitey"

so oprah has given this atlanta based school with a donation of $365K. now this is wonderful, and she should be thanked for being so generous with her money. but as i dug a little deeper(through cnn.com) i saw the actual interview with mr.clark and realized that oprah whitey did not do enough. mr. clark stated that it cost $2.4M dollars a year to keep his school open and operating. $2.4 MILLION DOLLARS!!! and oprah donates a measly $365K. oprah's donation will only cover about 15% of the total cost for keep the school open. i know its not my money, but i have a problem with that. if she was really inspired by the school, why not give enough to keep the doors open for at least year. but again that is just what i would have done.

now oprah states that she built the school in africa because she had made a promise to mr. nelson mandela and of course oprah has to keep her promises. and i aint mad at the fact she built the school, but i will admit i have not looked at oprah the same since. i can not understand why the "rich and well to do people" in the country care more about the children in other countries than they do the ones in america. it seems that somehow the children are suffering because they do not have proper guidance to want to become more than they are.

part of my new fond anger with oprah stems from oprah and her feelings toward inner-city youth. the article first appeared in Newsweek back in Jan of 2007. This is a direct quote from the article( which i had to find using my school's library, so good luck)

"I became so frustrated with visiting inner-city schools that I just stopped going. The sense that you need to learn just isn't there," she says. "If you ask the kids what they want or need, they will say an iPod or some sneakers. In South Africa, they don't ask for money or toys. They ask for uniforms so they can go to school."

“I was a poor girl who grew up with my grandmother, like so many of these girls, with no water and electricity,” said the talk show host, dressed in a formal pink dress that reached the floor.

does oprah not realize we, americans, live in a country founded on money. of course the children of this country want the finer things in life because they see them on tv all the time. commercial after commercial trying to sell popularity and confidence to the children. think about it, if there are some people in africa that do not have running water, then it would be a safe assumption to say that they do not have access to tv. so their respect for the finer things in life would include going to school and having the basic necessities in life. but in america the values are different. and it bothers me that a woman would turn her back on "her" people because they have become a product of their environments.

then in the article she goes and says the most offensive thing:

"Say what you will about the American educational system--it does work," she says. "If you are a child in the United States, you can get an education." And she doesn't think that American students--who, unlike Africans, go to school free of charge--appreciate what they have."

i want to know the last time oprah really visited an inner-city school. better yet when was the last time she left out her neighborhood and looked around. there are poor children everywhere. and it really bothers me that she would count the "poor" children out in america, because they do not understand the reasoning behind their lack of "what-have" you. i will continue with this series later..its time to get ready to take my poor black ass to work. because its obvious to me that i aint worthy of no oprah help.

Lady Sleaze out...peace

Kawasaki syndrome

first and foremost my heart goes out the the travolta family! i could not imagine what it is like to lose a child. i have heard parents, who have had to bury a child, say that it is unnatural to have to prepare funeral services for a child. i hope that through this situation something positive happens and that family is able to find the strength to pull through this and raise the remaining child they have left.

but this situation has increased my interest in Kawasaki syndrome. so i will not bore you with the details but i have provided a link directly to the american heart associations website. if you feel so inclined, read up on the topic. its very interesting, i think.